You Know You’re A Homeschool Mom When…
- When a child busts a lip, and after seeing she’s okay, you round up some Scotch tape to capture some blood and look at it under the microscope.
- You find dead animals and actually consider saving them to dissect later.
- Your children never, ever leave the “why?” stage.
- You look at every room in your home to try and imagine how to squeeze in another bookshelf.
- You turn your china cabinet into book shelves.
- When your teenager decides to take one community college course, and comes home and asks you why the teacher wrote “At” on his paper. (A+)
- You ask for, and get, a copier instead of a diamond tennis bracelet for your wedding anniversary.
- Your kids think reading history is best accomplished while lying on the floor with their head resting on the side of their patient dog.
- Your husband can walk in at the end of a long day and tell how the science experiment went just by looking at the house.
- You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.
- Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.
- The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.
- You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.
- If your child gets drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.
- Your neighbors think you are insane.
- Your kids learn new vocabulary from their extensive collection of “Calvin & Hobbes” books.
- Your formal dining room now has a computer, copy machine, and many book shelves and there are educational posters and maps all over the walls.
- You have meal worms growing in a container….on purpose.
- If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.
- Talking out loud to yourself is a parent/teacher conference.
- You take off for a teacher in-service day because the principal needs clean underwear.
- You can’t make it through a movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies.
- You step on math manipulatives on your pre-dawn stumble to the bathroom.
- The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.
- Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you put on your car.
- If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.
- Someday your children will consider you to be a miracle-working expert and will turn to you for advice.
- Your kids refer to the neighbor kids as “government school inmates.”
- You can’t make it through the grocery produce department without asking your preschooler the name and color of every vegetable.
- You can’t put your produce in your cart without asking your older student to estimate its weight and verify its accuracy.
- You live in a one-house schoolroom.
Many of these are from our readers. Feel free to submit more to add to the list.
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