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Signs of Spiritual Abuse & Legalism

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A legalistic church emphasizes the externals and becomes preoccupied with trivial matters.

Captives in spiritual bondage need to be set free.

Pastors that demand obedience—to church leadership instead of  God need to exposed. We were once in a church where the Pastor made us ask permission to use the restroom and often denied it.

The church was driven by a sense of obligation. Service was viewed as something we “had to do” no exceptions.  Condemning other churches was a weekly teaching from the pulpit. Condemning members that left the church was normal. No one ever spoke to ex-members.

How do you tell if your church is slipping into legalism or spiritual abuse?  Pray for God to open your eyes and examine what you see:

  • Do you see faith in God or dependency on church?
  • Is everyone expected to obey rules and/or standards beyond scripture?
  • Do you always feel condemned for falling short?
  • Are Church rules set and decisions made by one person or a small elitist group?
  • Is guilt and shame used to manipulate members?
  • Is there a constant feeling of anxiety and insecurity?
  • Do they major on the minors? i.e. going to a movie is a horrible sin but showing love and mercy are overlooked.
  • Are people who disagree with the rules automatically condemned?
  • Was the church founded on pride and elitism, ie no others churches know the truth?

The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness,  gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.

The Fruit of Legalism is pride, self-righteousness, judgmental and critical attitudes, superiority, conflict, worry, demanding compliance,  aggression, extremes, manipulation, elitism, and plain ol’ nastiness.

Religion tries to change people from the outside in. Jesus said to clean the inside first.

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Mat 23:25

There are many good resources to help you get out or heal from legalism or spiritual abuse. Get out and start healing

Internet Resources

  • Battered Sheep Ministry is a place of encouragement for sheep who have been wounded and victimized by authoritarian and legalistic churches.
  • Spiritualabuse.org the focus of this site is spiritual abuse in Bible based churches.

Book Resources

If you like stories  I suggest Wisdom Hunter: A Novel. If you need freedom from the pressure and stress see The Pressure’s Off: There’s a New Way to Live by Larry Crabb.

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. Matthew 15:8


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There Are 9 Responses So Far. »

  1. Comment by JoJo Tabares :

    This is so sad! I can’t remember the scripture but God says that we will be held accountable for drawing folks away from the Lord with things like this.

  2. Trackback by Serenity Satoru :

    Signs of Spiritual Abuse & Legalism : Robin’s Blog: How do you tell if your church is slipping legalism .. http://bit.ly/kfvtG

  3. Trackback by ZenSuomi.com :

    Signs of Spiritual Abuse & Legalism : Robin’s Blog: Related Posts. Don’t Be Decieved · Disgrace or G.. http://bit.ly/HM7S4

  4. Trackback by Angels Hear You :

    Spiritual: Signs of Spiritual Abuse & Legalism : Robin’s Blog http://bit.ly/3szl9

  5. Comment by Ginnie :

    I agree Robin, but I admit, I’m struggling. We’ve had people leave our Messianic congregation to become more Talmudic (we are Torah Observant), and it grieves my heart.

    I worry, am I being legalistic because I’m having a hard time dealing w/ this? Where do I meet them so that they know the door is always open, but not get overly involved? What is the loving way to handle this? It really saddens me, and I don’t know what to do about it.

    I want to show the Fruit of the Spirit, I think I don’t quite know how (how far to go w/ it, and still maintain boundaries for my children, family, etc). This is what we believe and why, this is what they believe. I feel like we need boundaries to lessen any confusion. My children are young, newly turned 9 and 6.

    Thank you.

  6. Comment by Wendy J. Duncan :

    My husband and I belonged to a spiritually abusive (I believe it is a Bible-based cult) for many years. This past Sunday I became teary eyed during the worship service of my new church and thanked God for the upteenth time that we were no longer a part of Trinity Foundation. I have belonged to 7-8 churches in my lifetime, but this is the first “church” that continues to provoke such emotions even though we left nine years ago.

    Thank you for posting this information.It is important for Christians to understand that not all churches are benign.

    Wendy Duncan
    Author: I Can’t Hear God Anymore: Life in a Dallas Cult

  7. Comment by thatmom :

    Excellent resource, Robin.

    I did a series of podcasts last summer on this topic and it seems like, even in the past year, this issue is more widespread.

    One thing I have noticed in recent months is that, in our zeal to stand for righteousness as evangelicals, there is a renewed call for church discipline. But the list of disciplinary offenses is growing, too and many times means “let’s try to shut down those who disagree with the nonessentials the leaders are teaching.”

    Thanks for this article…I will be linking here.

    Karen

  8. Comment by Sisterlisa :

    I agree with this and have experienced that myself. It is painful, to say the last, to be in a church like that. I have also experienced friendships like this as well. They expect perfection out of the friend, monitor everything they do and are quick to correct if we make a decision they don’t agree with. They condemn any new friendships we have that they don’t agree with. That Pharisee judgmentalism becomes quite abusive and controlling. I think those people live in fear and are insecure in their relationships as well as their relationship with our Lord. If these kind of people continue to live in isolation from all people they feel are in sin then two things come to my mind. Eventually they will have no friends, because we’re all sinners to begin with, and/or they will live in their own condemnation while thinking they know it all and leave themselves completely blind. Just as Jesus said. After coming out of a legalistic church and friendships I have been able to see much clearer now and have come to an amazing understanding of what grace really is. Such freedom!

  9. Comment by Jacque :

    This is what struck me:
    The Fruit of Legalism is pride, self-righteousness, judgmental and critical attitudes, superiority, conflict, worry, demanding compliance, aggression, extremes, manipulation, elitism, and plain ol’ nastiness.

    What is frustrating is when people call themselves christians, put up the banner of grace for themselves and condemn everyone else.

    That is when I have seen the above “fruit” displayed. There is no good fruit coming from these people. It is truly sad. I have had friends who used to be the sweetest, most caring people who were so cautious in how they spoke to others, always in love and meekness – the fruit of the Spirit. I wished I was like them in that regard, because they were just always thinking of others and how their words might affect them.

    It is sad to see how the legalism of grace (ironic, huh?) has turned them into people who will speak their mind freely, in their grace, to the ruin of others and friendships and their own agendas. It seems weird, but their religion of grace is a lopsided grace for them alone.
    It is really sad, Robin.

    I pray that these people will come back to the realization of how their own abuse of grace is harming themselves and others.

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