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Recall Notice from God

Recall Notice from God

Product: Human Beings
Year of manufacture: All

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the Heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed “Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality” (SIN).

Some of the symptoms include:

  • Loss of direction
  • Foul vocal emissions
  • Amnesia of origin
  • Lack of peace and joy
  • Selfish or violent behavior
  • Depression or confusion in the mental component
  • Fearfulness
  • Idolatry
  • Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: 1-800-P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. Further information available in the Owner’s Manual available online.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

  • Love
  • Joy
  • Peace
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Goodness
  • Faithfulness
  • Gentleness
  • Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers’ Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus — again, that number is 1-800-P-R-A-Y-E-R. No refunds will be given; the safe operation of these units is solely the responsibility of the owner.

DANGER: This recall does not expire and the manufactured units may be repaired at any time. However, unit failure cannot be predicted with accuracy and human being units not responding to this recall action by that time will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

– GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by ‘Knee mail’.

Received email author unknown


About Robin Sampson

16 comments

  1. This is perfect! Great metaphor – I love it!

  2. Love it! XD

    Speaks very clearly to those who understand this kind of lingo.

    Reminds me of the “Installing Love” email that went around years ago. I still plan on posting that one. 🙂

    I’ll be posting this one, too! 😀

  3. I Love it!

  4. Here is an interesting Jewish Documentary film:

    http://www.jewishhistory.org/movies/

  5. I love this, Robin! Thanks for posting it.

  6. Excellent! Very creative.

  7. That is just perfect! I love it!

  8. Pam Fidler

    Wonderful metaphor and warning
    A wonderful warning to accept God’s Grace and Jesus’ gift of salvation thanks.

  9. My mother-in-law sent me this…but did not send it to anyone else she normally sends forwards to..like my husband and mother. It said “to recipients”. I have a churning feeling that I was the only recipient. She’s very manipulative and can be very passive-aggressive…so this is how I’m taking it. I actually hate forwards like this for that very reason.

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