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Marriage Monday: Children

marriage Monday

 

If you have children, how has that changed you, your husband and the way you relate in your marriage?

There was life before children? Oh yeah..I think I remember.

Well, my hubby and I almost never argue—but when we do disagree, it has something to do with the children. We are each on the opposite ends of the discipline spectrum. Usually it is the husband that is the strong disciplinarian and the wives are softies. In our marriage it’s the opposite. My husband has a huge heart and is easily controlled by puppy-dog eyes or a puckered pout. Tears usually don’t affect me. Tantrums never sway me and will only lead to more discipline.

It has been very difficult at times, but we have both grown and come to a balance. We have learned to honor our differences. We have had long discussions and compromised on some guidelines and rules. I respect my husband, but when I feel he is wrong I make an appeal and he listens. I believe it is critical to present a united front–even when you don’t agree. IMHO each parent should back the other in front of the children and then have a discussion in private.

Other than disagreements on discipline, the only real difference I can think of is time. We don’t have the alone time we had before children (in my foggy memory). Even when we go out to dinner alone we focus the conversation on our children. But I have no complaints–that’s what family is about. All in all, we are both family-oriented and our relationship is pretty much the same now as it was before children (I think–it’s hard to remember).

Marriage Monday is a meme from Fruit in Season’s blog. For more memes see the Daily Blogs Meme List

Robin

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There Are 2 Responses So Far. »

  1. We focus conversation on the kids, too, when we go out. They are such a big part of our lives! How could we not?

    We have come together over the years in many of our differences. Compromise and listening are such key areas in marriage, especially about children!

    Thanks for posting, Robin!

  2. Having our five children has caused us to become more united then we were pre-kids. We have an easy relationship and a close one (after some tough trials)and we discussed many aspects of child-rearing before kids. Both being eldest of large families we had the advantage of still watching our parents raising our younger sibs as a married couple. Saw things we did/didn’t agree with and adjusted accordingly. We have become more united, stronger as a couple. We rarely disagree in issues of parenting. Once in awhile one or the other will quietly, later appeal to the other about harshness or leniency. We save our few disagreements for things like money and time :) ! Parenting has been a growth experience, for sure! But we still look forward to having more time when the kids have grown. It is hard to take time alone! No complaints, just facts. We do manage to get in a game of cribbage now and then!

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