Marriage Monday – Time
This Monday Marriage is about time. How do you spend your time? How much time is family time, couple times, and individual time?
My husband retired last year so he’s around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Retirement is one of life’s great milestones. It has been quite an adjustment. I begin to understand the phrase “too much of a good thing.” To give you a clue, his first month home I bought the books “Honey, I’m Home for Good” and “For Better or for Worse…But Not for Lunch.”
I developed Retired Husband Syndrome. Symptoms include headaches, irritability, rashes, and sometimes ulcers (of course I’m kidding, but it’s really is a recognized medical condition in
The first few months were rough. It was a bigger adjustment than the birth of our first child. Ronnie’s role at Homeland Security was crisis management. Now he was home looking for a crisis to manage. When I cleaned the kitchen he watched and gave advice. Just what I needed new kitchen protocol.
I’m a work at home author. I guess Ronnie thought my books wrote themselves because he seemed surprised that I had to spend time writing them. I’d be in the middle of a deep study, writing something profound and he would interrupt me with his helpful daily weather forecast or one of his important daily questions like “What are we having for dinner?” At first I couldn’t get anything done. My schedule went out the window. I love this man, I really do, but he was in my space.
We both needed time to adjust to retired life. It took awhile, but we have finally reached an understanding and we have settled into schedule. We learned to recognize and respect the other person’s needs. Ronnie now helps me with HOW business, the house, and children. Best of all, he took over all the grocery shopping and errand running. It’s been a real blessing.
Weekdays
All husbands need some alone time. Ronnie gets his by getting up very early around 4:00am (a habit from his daily commute to
Ronnie usually makes a huge breakfast for the boys (eggs, grits and French toast is not unusual.) This gives me the time I need to feed horses, muck, start laundry, and get school work ready. While I teach the boys hubby retreats to the porch for more alone time with his newspapers and crossword puzzles. We eat lunch together. I work in the afternoon while Ronnie listens for the children and does HOW bookkeeping.
I stop working by 5 to take care of the horses and start dinner. Kitchen clean up is a family affair. I do much of my house work after dinner so the house is tidy in the morning.
In the evenings the boys bathe then I read aloud or watch a video with them while Ronnie watches political shows or documentaries (unless Daddy is watching some neat National Geographic video then we all watch).
Weekends and Vacations
Weekends are all family time church, batting cages, picnics, fishing, yard work, etc. When the weather is nice we BBQ at least once a week usually twice. We drive to
We don’t do date night because we retire early but we try to go to breakfast or lunch alone once a month or so. Once in a great while Ronnie plays golf or I go shopping. But nine times out of ten we are all together. I get my hair cut or go girly shopping about once a month alone. I go out so seldom that when I get home the boys run and yell “Mommy’s Home!!” I love that.
My Quiet Time
I have alone time with my horses every morning (usually the boy help me when I care for them in the afternoon). This is very special time for me. I feed and groom the horses and muck. I love to hear the birds singing, the smell of the barn mixed with leather and horses, feel the fresh air. In the warmer months, I have to drag myself back inside. I also have time alone at night. When everyone else is a sleep at night I get more quiet time. I write and study—like now. It is 9:00 pm the boys are zonked out and hubby is very quiet, possibly drifting off himself.
Conclusion
Now that I think about it, we are together about 95% of the time. Family is what it is all about. We are happy, for better, for worse and even for lunch.
Marriage Monday is a meme from Fruit in Season’s blog. For more memes see the Daily Blogs Memes List
