Comments on: Being Understood is a Luxury http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/ Heart of Wisdom Author Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:34:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Penney Douglas http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2503 Penney Douglas Fri, 07 Mar 2008 02:46:25 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2503 Dear Robin, I knew some more criticism would be coming your way when I saw what was being written on a group I'm on. The moderators stepped in quickly and stopped it before it got very far, but some judgmental words had already been spoken. I'm so sorry that people do that to you. Please know that some of us are learning that God's primary command is love, and we will love and fellowship with you and be glad that you would stoop to fellowship with us regular old moms who don't know nearly as much as you do. You always handle such attacks so graciously. Your wisdom and love are great examples to the rest of us. I hate it when I get criticized the least little bit. Certain people who can't do anything but criticize me are hard for me to love. But I know that it is my duty to love them. I pray that I will love such a person with a pure heart fervently. It seems to be helping a little. If she could just try to understand me, I know it would help a lot. She is a Christian, but she resents me. I understand where she's coming from, but it's still hard to take the put-downs and innuendos. Some people just make me feel like they have it all together, and I'm just pathetic and have a poor, pitiful life. What is it that makes a person act that way? I know it comes from their own insecurity and jealousy, but it is so hard for me to deal with. The only thing I know to do is to pray that God will reveal His deep, deep love for them and they will no longer have these feelings of insecurity and jealousy. As far as remarriage being the unpardonable sin and a reason for not fellowshipping with a fellow believer, I really wish those people would read Romans 7 in context and see that it is talking about how we are dead to the law because now we live in the Spirit. We're released from our old husband, the flesh, because we died to the flesh. We're allowed to have a new husband, Jesus, because we are no longer bound by the law. We had another husband, but we can marry a new husband, because we're dead to our first husband, the flesh and the law. That's the point of Romans 7:1-6. It's not about a woman being bound to her first husband until he dies. They miss the point completely. May God bless you and your family and the unity- the wonderful blessing- of your marriage. It is the gift of God. :smile: Love, Penney <em>Penney Douglas's last blog post..<a href='http://www.heartofwisdom.com/BecomingReal/?p=85' rel="nofollow">Shawn goes to New Orleans (without me!)</a></em> Dear Robin,

I knew some more criticism would be coming your way when I saw what was being written on a group I’m on. The moderators stepped in quickly and stopped it before it got very far, but some judgmental words had already been spoken. I’m so sorry that people do that to you. Please know that some of us are learning that God’s primary command is love, and we will love and fellowship with you and be glad that you would stoop to fellowship with us regular old moms who don’t know nearly as much as you do.
You always handle such attacks so graciously. Your wisdom and love are great examples to the rest of us. I hate it when I get criticized the least little bit. Certain people who can’t do anything but criticize me are hard for me to love. But I know that it is my duty to love them. I pray that I will love such a person with a pure heart fervently. It seems to be helping a little. If she could just try to understand me, I know it would help a lot. She is a Christian, but she resents me. I understand where she’s coming from, but it’s still hard to take the put-downs and innuendos. Some people just make me feel like they have it all together, and I’m just pathetic and have a poor, pitiful life. What is it that makes a person act that way? I know it comes from their own insecurity and jealousy, but it is so hard for me to deal with. The only thing I know to do is to pray that God will reveal His deep, deep love for them and they will no longer have these feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
As far as remarriage being the unpardonable sin and a reason for not fellowshipping with a fellow believer, I really wish those people would read Romans 7 in context and see that it is talking about how we are dead to the law because now we live in the Spirit. We’re released from our old husband, the flesh, because we died to the flesh. We’re allowed to have a new husband, Jesus, because we are no longer bound by the law. We had another husband, but we can marry a new husband, because we’re dead to our first husband, the flesh and the law. That’s the point of Romans 7:1-6. It’s not about a woman being bound to her first husband until he dies. They miss the point completely.
May God bless you and your family and the unity- the wonderful blessing- of your marriage. It is the gift of God. :smile:

Love,
Penney

Penney Douglas’s last blog post..Shawn goes to New Orleans (without me!)

]]> By: Ruth http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2502 Ruth Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:18:54 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2502 GOD BLESS YOU! i found you through chrysalis. just wanted to say that your post deeply resonated with my heart. this is also my pain, my cry, my desire.....when will it finally happen? i believe one day. although walking through the here and now of people that don't understand love is difficult. it is something that i battle and contend for everyday of my life and somedays i get so weary of that battle. <em>Ruth's last blog post..<a href='http://itstrueroo.blogspot.com/2008/01/shiloh-and-her-shoes.html' rel="nofollow">Shiloh And Her Shoes</a></em> GOD BLESS YOU! i found you through chrysalis. just wanted to say that your post deeply resonated with my heart. this is also my pain, my cry, my desire…..when will it finally happen?

i believe one day. although walking through the here and now of people that don’t understand love is difficult.

it is something that i battle and contend for everyday of my life and somedays i get so weary of that battle.

Ruth’s last blog post..Shiloh And Her Shoes

]]> By: e-Mom http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2501 e-Mom Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:02:39 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2501 Younger Christians need older Christians to model the love of Christ, and forgiveness is a big part of that. Thanks for sharing your wisdom in this excellent post. Blessings, e-Mom <em>e-Mom's last blog post..<a href='http://chrysaliscom.blogspot.com/2008/03/marriage-monday-is-divorce-ever-right.html' rel="nofollow">Marriage Monday: Is Divorce Ever Right?</a></em> Younger Christians need older Christians to model the love of Christ, and forgiveness is a big part of that. Thanks for sharing your wisdom in this excellent post. Blessings, e-Mom

e-Mom’s last blog post..Marriage Monday: Is Divorce Ever Right?

]]> By: Stacy http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2500 Stacy Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:55:57 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2500 <i>Today I want to question how the lack of fruit of the Spirit in our lives can result from emotional brokenness due to a lack of love and a lack of being understood.</i> This sums up my life. I used to go to church and be full and ready to give. in 2001 my church went through a horrible split which ended up with my pastor in jail later to be relieved of ALL charges because... they just wernt true. I, and many other, were abused for standing by him through all this. At the new church we attended I was befriended by two women who supposedly "wanted to be my friend". They put their children on my cheer team and when things didnt go as planned they took them off and turned on me, getting friendship mixed up with business. I dont go to church anymore. I dont feel God at church and havent in years. My family still goes and I am afraid for my children. They are homeschooled and end up going to church and getting picked on and ridiculed by the public school kids. I honestly hate church. With a passion. I have 8years of wounds and nobody cares wants to listen or understands. So I just keep it all in and fight the bitterness the best I can. Today I want to question how the lack of fruit of the Spirit in our lives can result from emotional brokenness due to a lack of love and a lack of being understood.

This sums up my life. I used to go to church and be full and ready to give. in 2001 my church went through a horrible split which ended up with my pastor in jail later to be relieved of ALL charges because… they just wernt true. I, and many other, were abused for standing by him through all this.

At the new church we attended I was befriended by two women who supposedly “wanted to be my friend”. They put their children on my cheer team and when things didnt go as planned they took them off and turned on me, getting friendship mixed up with business.

I dont go to church anymore. I dont feel God at church and havent in years. My family still goes and I am afraid for my children. They are homeschooled and end up going to church and getting picked on and ridiculed by the public school kids.

I honestly hate church. With a passion.
I have 8years of wounds and nobody cares
wants to listen
or understands.

So I just keep it all in and fight the bitterness the best I can.

]]> By: Pure and Sensible http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2499 Pure and Sensible Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:13:40 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2499 I'm wondering if you ever got my comment. I'm wondering if I put it on the wrong post or maybe there an error submitting it. Please let me know if you did not get it. <em>Pure and Sensible's last blog post..<a href='http://www.heartofwisdom.com/PUREANDSENSIBLE/?p=348' rel="nofollow">The Gift of Discernment</a></em> I’m wondering if you ever got my comment. I’m wondering if I put it on the wrong post or maybe there an error submitting it. Please let me know if you did not get it.

Pure and Sensible’s last blog post..The Gift of Discernment

]]> By: Lisa Petersen http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2498 Lisa Petersen Mon, 03 Mar 2008 03:08:17 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2498 Robin, thank you for this article. I'm sure this happens to most of us but that doesn't make it right or any easier when it happens to you. I am a single parent homeschooling mom and have felt pretty much like a square peg in a round hole at times. Plus, since I do not agree with some of the doctrines in the mainstream church (any of them), I can not in good conscience become a member but I do attend regularly and have found that just a small number of supportive people is a huge blessing. Just want you to know what a blessing you have been to me... Lisa Robin, thank you for this article. I’m sure this happens to most of us but that doesn’t make it right or any easier when it happens to you. I am a single parent homeschooling mom and have felt pretty much like a square peg in a round hole at times. Plus, since I do not agree with some of the doctrines in the mainstream church (any of them), I can not in good conscience become a member but I do attend regularly and have found that just a small number of supportive people is a huge blessing. Just want you to know what a blessing you have been to me… Lisa

]]> By: Sombra http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2497 Sombra Sun, 02 Mar 2008 23:22:18 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2497 What does a letter like that hope to accomplish? Another divorce? Another broken home? shesh.. some people! By her reconning, I'm "married" to dozens of men for I was sexually active as a teen and a young woman. Yes, I know it was sin, but I didn't know the Lord.. and I know I'm covered by His Blood for those sins. hugs friend.. how hard it is to live in the spotlight of someone else's criticisms. What does a letter like that hope to accomplish? Another divorce? Another broken home? shesh.. some people!

By her reconning, I’m “married” to dozens of men for I was sexually active as a teen and a young woman. Yes, I know it was sin, but I didn’t know the Lord.. and I know I’m covered by His Blood for those sins.

hugs friend.. how hard it is to live in the spotlight of someone else’s criticisms.

]]> By: Jacque http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2496 Jacque Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:33:03 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2496 Robin~ I am so sorry for the hurt you are experiencing and have experienced from inside the walls of the church. I am sorry to all who have. I am sorry that we have. It is becoming more and more the rare thing that people don't experience something hurtful in a big way. It is a sad state of unkindness and unloving that we are becoming. I pray that the Lord will convict my heart that the law of kindness may be on my lips as well. God help us. Jesus gave His holy self, and we, the Church, are either totally wounded or doing the wounding. Is it any wonder people have no faith in the words of Believers? Help us Lord to see. blessings and a (((GREAT BIG HUG))) to you Robin et al. Robin~
I am so sorry for the hurt you are experiencing and have experienced from inside the walls of the church. I am sorry to all who have. I am sorry that we have. It is becoming more and more the rare thing that people don’t experience something hurtful in a big way. It is a sad state of unkindness and unloving that we are becoming.
I pray that the Lord will convict my heart that the law of kindness may be on my lips as well. God help us. Jesus gave His holy self, and we, the Church, are either totally wounded or doing the wounding.
Is it any wonder people have no faith in the words of Believers?
Help us Lord to see.
blessings and a (((GREAT BIG HUG))) to you Robin et al.

]]> By: Miss Amanda http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2495 Miss Amanda Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:23:47 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2495 Mrs. Sampson, What words of wisdom you have! This post was truly wonderful! I am sorry to read that people would email a fellow Believer and tell them that they are in sin. I don't think people really get the verse about the speck of dirt. It is sad. I just wanted to stop by and say how much I was moved by this article! Great job! ((HUGS)) Love, Miss Amanda http://superangelsblog.com <em>Miss Amanda's last blog post..<a href='http://superangelsblog.com/?p=52' rel="nofollow">Not The Superest News</a></em> Mrs. Sampson,
What words of wisdom you have! This post was truly wonderful!
I am sorry to read that people would email a fellow Believer and tell them that they are in sin. I don’t think people really get the verse about the speck of dirt. It is sad.
I just wanted to stop by and say how much I was moved by this article! Great job!
((HUGS))
Love,
Miss Amanda
http://superangelsblog.com

Miss Amanda’s last blog post..Not The Superest News

]]> By: Tara in VA http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2494 Tara in VA Sun, 02 Mar 2008 01:31:02 +0000 http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/kindness-is-a-language-2/#comment-2494 We limped away from our old church with a deep, deep wound. We felt that the Lord wanted us to be open with the leadership so that we were not bearing our burden alone but would make our supposedly praying church family aware of our struggle. We left the meeting with the eldership feeling belittled, betrayed, humiliated and unloved. In the ensueing YEARS we have looked for a church but can not find a fit. I know that God wants us to fellowship with the saints (which we do) and we worship the Lord, but no longer in an organized body. I hear about so much more hurt being dealt out "in Jesus name" and I just can't stand it. I have come to believe that willingly giving someone else who claims to come cloaked in the authority of God that much power over my life is crazy. I believe that we are all a holy priesthood, that once saved we are all saints. I have the heart of Christ, He came to live in me because I accepted the free gift of His salvation. I want to live out of my new identity. Accountability to a group of elders is not the answer to sin in one's life. Building a relationship with God, learning of my new identity and then living out my new identity is. Acting in what is right even if my old flesh patterns tell me I still have a sin nature (which I don't as I am now a new creation). Yes, I believe God works through His people and that He uses all things for the good of those who love Him. For me, my bad experience has told me to place my self directly in God's hands. I don't consider myself guarded, but I am no longer willing to turn every aspect of my life over to an organized body of other people. We limped away from our old church with a deep, deep wound. We felt that the Lord wanted us to be open with the leadership so that we were not bearing our burden alone but would make our supposedly praying church family aware of our struggle. We left the meeting with the eldership feeling belittled, betrayed, humiliated and unloved. In the ensueing YEARS we have looked for a church but can not find a fit. I know that God wants us to fellowship with the saints (which we do) and we worship the Lord, but no longer in an organized body. I hear about so much more hurt being dealt out “in Jesus name” and I just can’t stand it. I have come to believe that willingly giving someone else who claims to come cloaked in the authority of God that much power over my life is crazy. I believe that we are all a holy priesthood, that once saved we are all saints. I have the heart of Christ, He came to live in me because I accepted the free gift of His salvation. I want to live out of my new identity. Accountability to a group of elders is not the answer to sin in one’s life. Building a relationship with God, learning of my new identity and then living out my new identity is. Acting in what is right even if my old flesh patterns tell me I still have a sin nature (which I don’t as I am now a new creation). Yes, I believe God works through His people and that He uses all things for the good of those who love Him. For me, my bad experience has told me to place my self directly in God’s hands. I don’t consider myself guarded, but I am no longer willing to turn every aspect of my life over to an organized body of other people.

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