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In Memory of My Daughter

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She was beautiful, giving, amazingly talented. She was the most loving person I have ever known. She loved her children emormously and was usually seen with one of them in her loving embrace. Her laugh was infectious. She was inspirational, amazingly creative in business, crafts, and art. She was the peace maker in our family. She was my “go to” person for business or creative advice. She was my daughter, she was my close friend.

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My third daughter, Victoria suddenly and unexpectedly passed away Thursday, January 9th, 2014. Please pray for Vicky’s sweet husband Jim and her her three sons: Stephen (15), Timothy (13), and Brandon (11).

Words do not exist to adequately express the pain and sorrow I feel for the loss of my sweet baby daughter. She was a joyful child, in every childhood photo she is laughing or giggling. She became a beautiful woman and adoring mother. Everyone that knew her felt her love, hugs, and generosity.

We were very close even though separated by miles (she lived in Orlando area and I’m in TN) we talked four or five times a day and visited a few times each year.

About ten years ago, she faced many challenges when she went from full-time homeschool mom to  single mom and student then eventually business owner.  She faced the world with unparalleled hope and optimism during those struggling years. Her creative passion inspired hundreds.

Seven years ago, Vicky married the love of her life, Jim. Jim was a family friend and knew Vicky since she was a teen. Jim opened his arms longingly to Vicky’s three boys. Our entire family is grateful for the love Jim (and his family) brought into Vicky’s life.

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Many family members and friends voiced fond memories of Victoria’s huge heart, her kindness to everyone, her empathy for those in need and her love for her family at her funeral on January 13th (the day after her 37th birthday).

I am pleased that the adjectives used over and over were fruits of the Spirit: loving, joyful, kindness, giving.

weight loss surgery killed my daughter

Vicky now lives, in a place more wonderful than we could ever imagine, filled with beautiful light, happy people, flowers, angelic beings, and indescribable joy. She is enveloped in pure love by our merciful Father, Her Abba. She now longer sees like we do–through a mirror dimly, but face to face. She now knows fully. There is no more pain, worry or tragedies for her. She is overflowing with forgiveness, love, and joy.

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Vicky’s death was caused as a result of weight-loss surgery. A week after the surgery, her husband, Jim, was driving her to the hospital when she stopped breathing. They worked on her for 35 minutes and got her heart started. She did not regain consciousness but had vital signs for 30 minutes. It stopped again for 5 minutes. I spoke with Jim several times and was driving to the airport to be with her when I received noticed she passed away.

The medical examiner continues to search for the official cause of death. Additional information may follow as warrants. I was not aware of the surgery, as she knew I was against it. I am hoping this news will discourage others from seeking such surgery. One in 400 die of this surgery.

Vicky had pneumonia when he was 2 weeks old and her heart stopped for 6 minutes. God gave her back to me, my gift, for three days shy of 37 years. I treasure every minute my beautiful baby girl was here on earth and look forward to seeing her again.

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Victoria’s siblings are all devastated. She was survived by my other children Belinda, Rebecca, Daniel, Regina, Michael, Anthony, David and Christopher.

Thank you all for your kinds words of encouragement, prayers, and extensions of sympathy. Every word has been embraced and meant so much. God has been faithful and my source of comfort. I feel God powerfully. I know He is doing a work in spite of what I see on the surface. Praising and trusting Him.

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46 comments

  1. Kathleen

    Wonderful tribute, Robin.

  2. I’m so sorry, Robin. Thanks for sharing Vicky’s story with us. Many, many people are praying for your family. May God’s peace find the depths of your heart.

  3. Karen F.

    Thank you Robin, I feel as though in some small way I know Victoria~ it is such a beautiful tribute from a loving mother. Praying you and and the family.

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for God to bring you comfort.

  5. Ashleigh

    Sorry for your loss my heart aches for you and your family, her husband and children. May God wrap his loving arms around you all and bring you comfort at this time.

  6. Claudia (DigiBonbons)

    Oh, Robin. I read your personal story shortly after finding out of your daughter’s passing and it moved me to look at my own heart and search for my own motives for all the rules and such that I hold. Such transparency and humility and courage in that post. Now, after reading this, my heart aches for you even more. I’m so glad you know the One Who loves your daughter and that He is trustworthy. I can’t imagine what life would be like without Him. How could someone go on after this kind of loss, if not for the confident hope of not only being reunited, but also that she is now complete. Love ya, Etsy friend! If there is anything I can possibly do in addition to praying, let me know.

  7. Teri (Candy Box)

    I’m so sorry that you have to go through this heartache, Robin. Sending you warm, comforting thoughts and prayers.

  8. Tamara

    Oh if I could reach my arms through this screen and give you a big {{{{hugs}}}}. My eyes burn with tears again as I learned of this news earlier this month and waited for your post.

    “Weep with those who weep…” comes to heart. I have been and will continue to uplift your entire family, siblings, husband & children who are greatly hurting. Your tribute post is beautiful and I feel your transparency in the wound of your heart.

    {{Rest in Him}} I am soo sorry.

  9. Robin…words cannot express the sorrow and sympathy I feel for you and your family. I pray you get the answers you seek, and that the Lord heal the vacuum her passing has caused in your lives…cherish the great memories you have of her, and lean on Him for strength. Love and hugs!

  10. Beverly

    Robin, this had to be very hard to write. I am glad you did. I heard about your daughter a few days ago, but now I feel like I know her and again I am so sorry for your lose and I am praying for you and your family. (((HUGS)))

  11. Summer

    This is a beautiful tribute for your beautiful daughter. I am confident it will touch many lives and hopefully cause others to investigate further if they desire weight loss surgery. Thank you for sharing your heart so eloquently with us. God be with you and bless you and cause His face to shine upon you and may Victoria’s memories give you peace and joy.

  12. Concetta Baker

    Robin,

    As I read your words my heart ached, it started to break all over again..I wish I could say I can’t imagine what you are going through..But I can’t because I can..I lost my daughter Kelly on Feb 9 2010. She was 29 and left behind a precious son. I light candles for her each day and place them next to her picture. I think that helps me. I know she is in a much better place. I know that sounds so “cliché”. If it were not for my faith in the almighty I wouldn’t be here..at least not of sound mind. There are days when the pain is just as bad if not worse than the day of her death, and that was four years ago Feb 9. Sometimes I start to think of the moment I received the phone call that told me she had been killed in an auto accident..I only get as far as asking so what are you saying, then I give my head a shake and hold my heart..I ask for strength. I pray I never get past the question I asked the moment the call came. I wish I could tell you it will get easier..it won’t…You’ll learn to accept it is all.I miss her more each day.I will pray the God will keep and sustain you and your family.

    Warmly,
    Concetta Baker

  13. Elisabeth

    My heart aches for your loss, Robin. Praying for you and your family.

  14. Praying for you all.

  15. {{Robin}} So sorry to hear of your daughter’s passing. I have followed along on your life’s journey for many years and my heart just aches for you. You have always been an encourager and so transparent, I have loved that about you. Praying for you and your family.

  16. Praying for you, dear friend.

  17. Kelly Wissink

    To say that I am sorry, is an understatement. I found your book, “Heart of Wisdom” and believe that it was God answering my prayer to have a truly bible-based homeschool for our children. I just read the sentence about your daughter in the preface to my husband, this morning. As I went to “like” you on Facebook, I noticed your last post and my heart skipped a beat. I found myself crying while sharing this with my family. May God continue to surround you and your family with peace and comfort as you laugh at the memories and are comforted that she is holding hands with her Lord and Savior!

  18. I am so very sorry for your loss :(

  19. Janene Christiansen

    Hi Robin
    I lost my third daughter also last week. She was only 29 and Mom to my four year old grandson. I wish I had been a constant in her life but her struggle with addiction took her. She died from a heroin overdose two days after being released from a detox. It is excruciating. I pray for you every day. The day you lost Victoria, I have no idea why but I knew I was about to lose Crystal. I have no words Robin.
    Jen

  20. Terri English

    I do not know you, but after reading your post, I know that you are my sister in Christ. I will never understand how non-believers can cope with loss as I am in my second year of learning to live without my mother and could not have made it this far without HIM. May the Lord bless and keep you and bring you and your family peace in the days ahead as only He can.

  21. Ilona Erwin

    I can’t imagine your pain, but my heartfelt sympathy is with you in this devastating loss. I’m so sorry you lost your lovely daughter too soon… there can’t be anything as painful as losing your child, -nothing I could imagine. May God hold your heart in his comforting embrace.

  22. so so sorry for your loss..
    Peace

  23. Linda Stablein

    Just heard about Vicki’s death. I am grieving for you & your family. I remember her sweet face. I messaged you. Would love to catch up.

  24. Susan Sherwood

    So sorry, Robin! You are such a blessing to others. May God comfort you in his loving arms!!!Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

  25. Dianne Killian

    I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss. I have followed your family for years through your Heart of Wisdom curriculum. Stay faithful, God is with you and loves you far more than you know. May you find the answers you seek and the peace you need to get through each day.

  26. Rochelle

    I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and her children and husband.

  27. I have not been to your site in awhile. God lead me here today. And I believe He did so, so I can lift you up in Prayer. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.

  28. I’m so incredibly sorry to hear of your loss, Robin. Continuing to pray for you during your time of grieving.

  29. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter! We lost our baby boy 18 months ago. God gave us the grace to make it through by focusing on seeing him again in heaven! I will pray that for you!
    Now I understand why you guys have been slow to answer some of your emails!
    I will be more patient…
    Thank you for all you do!
    Dawn Simpson

  30. Robin, I know saying how deeply sorry I am can not express my sadness for you and what you are going through. I know that you are in the arms of Yahshua. Years ago, Me and my children were in a house fire, and we lost the little we had, and you were such a comfort for me.You helped me to get back on track with our homeschooling, since all our books burned up. You probably didn’t know how much that meant to me. You are a beautiful person, and the love of our Heavenly Father shines through you. I pray Yahweh loving arms surround you and your family, and comfort you. You are very much loved Robin.
    Your Sister in Messiah,Tabaitha Brown (Tabby)

  31. Lori Bono

    I will pray in the Spirit for you. I’m sorry you had to experience this kind of pain. Heaven just got a little closer when someone you love enters it. I will also pray God’s grace and comfort on her children and husband. So, so, sorry Robin.

  32. Hello – I, too, am so sorry – and stunned – by your loss. I have a beautiful daughter, 35 years old, who is overweight. If you had any words of advice for those of us who don’t know HOW to help our adult children to lose that weight, what would they be? I had no idea that surgery was so dangerous. I’ve never had a weight problem, so I’m sure I don’t know how deeply my girl is suffering. Do you feel you’re able to help others because of your tragedy yet? I, for one, would be indebted to you for every word of counsel you may have…

  33. Dear Robin,am so very sorry for your horrific loss. The loss of a child is so excruciating. Only those of us who have experienced it can truly understand. Our 24 old son died four years ago. Our two day old son died 17 years ago. My husband of 33 years died on Christmas Day, 2012. Cling to Him. He will not fail you. He is Sovereign. Though we cannot possibly understand His reasons or ways, we can trust Him. He is close to the brokenhearted. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.

  34. I am so saddened by your loss Robin.Words cannot express the depths of my condolences to you. I thank you for leading as an example to us all about motherhood and teaching.G-d Bless you and keep you.You will be in my prayers.

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  37. I saw the photo of the tulip quilt and your little girl I can’t imagine the joy you felt in finding photo. I am sorry to hear go your lose even though we have never met she will always be your little girl and I know the memories you have of her will live on in your heart

  38. I am heartbroken for you, dear one. May you continue to find comfort from our Father.

  39. Robin,your children,Robin’s husband and your grandchildren,
    We are so sorry for what has happened with your daughter.We are on our knees praying for you all.
    You are lifted up to the Lord by so many!! You are not alone. We pray for peace in the storm and that you all feel Him wrapping His Huge arms around you and covering you with His talit like never before.
    We pray for His shalom even in the midst of what we don’t understand right now.
    In His loving kindness and His compassion,
    The Wirth family

  40. Robin Littlefield

    Robin,
    I am a scrapbooker and I found you this morning on Etsy while looking for some digital kits. After looking at a few of your kits, I saved you as one of my favorites on Etsy. As a Christian myself I was really grateful for and in awe of the wonderful Christian materials you have created. After my purchase I was looking at your freebies and discovered the story of your daughter. My heart is deeply touched by your loss. I believe God led me here for a reason because your dedication to our Lord is truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing with us all about Vicky. From your description, she is not only a beautiful woman outwardly but within as well. I just wanted you to know I’ve been touched by you and Vicky this morning. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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