Homeschool! Aren't You Worried About Socialization?
I had this cartoon made many years ago just to answer this frequently asked question. It is usually the first question / concern one has when they find out you are homeschooling.
Yes, homeschool children should have friends. But not just random friends. Homeschoolers have the opportunity to for selective socialization.
Parents can guide their children to other Christian families with like minded morals and values. Most home school families I know are are very active with other families. There are weekly field trips with support groups, twice a week church functions, scouts, choir, weekly skating parties, etc, etc.
Our family made a decision to cut back on social events becasue all the running around cut into our family time!
Studies Prove Homeschoolers Do Better Socially
Click to view more Millard homeschool cartoons
Information gathered by the National Home Education Research Institute prove homeschool students have significantly higher self concepts than those in public schools.
- Dr. Johnson (1991) concluded that home educators carefully address the socialization needs of their children in every area studied (i.e., personal identity, personal destiny, values and moral development, autonomy, relationships, sexuality, and social skills).
- Studying actual observed behavior, Dr. Shyers (1992) found the home educated had significantly lower problem behavior scores than do their conventional school agemates. And the home educated have positive self-concepts.
- Dr. Taylor (1986) found that the home educated have significantly higher self concepts than those in public schools.
- The home schooled are well adjusted socially and emotionally like their private school comparison group. The home educated, however, are less peer dependent than the private school students (Delahooke, 1986).
- Dr. Montgomery (1989) found that home schooled students are just as involved in out-of-school and extracurricular activities that predict leadership in adulthood as are those in the comparison private school (that was comprised of students more involved than those in public schools).
- Home educated children are more mature and better socialized than are those sent to school, according to Thomas Smedley’s personal interaction and communications approach to understanding socialization.
- Dr. Gary Knowles, of the University of Michigan, explored adults who were home educated. None were unemployed and none were on welfare, 94% said home education prepared them to be independent persons, 79% said it helped them interact with individuals from different levels of society, and they strongly supported the home education method.
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What Does God’s Word Say About Who we Socialize With?
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
2 Co 6:14
W. W. Wiersbe’s note on this passage:
It is a basic principle of life that opposites cannot fellowship together. The “unequal yoke” takes us back to Moses’ admonition in Lev. 19:19. These Corinthians were yoking themselves with unbelievers in marriage, business life, and other ways, and were losing their testimonies for Christ. After all, if Christians live like the world, how can they witness to the world?
Note the series of contrasts here: righteousness/ unrighteousness; light/ darkness; Christ/ Belial (an OT name for Satan); believer/ unbeliever (infidel); temple of God/idols.
The attitude of too many Christians today is that the church should court and please the world in order to try to win it. Nothing could be further from the truth! There must be separation from sin. This does not mean isolation, retreating from the world; it does mean keeping ourselves from the defilement of the world.
It is fine for the ship to be in the water, but when water gets into the ship, look out! Paul cites Lev. 26:11–12 to show that God lives and walks in the believer, so that his relationship to the world affects his fellowship with God.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate …II Cor. 6:17
Separation evolves two dimensions-one negative and one positive:
- Separating yourself morally and spiritually from sin and everything that is contrary to Jesus Christ, righteous and God’s Word.
- Drawing near to God in a close intimate fellowship thorough dedication, worship and service.
Don Stamp commentary explains in the Full Life Bible:
- In the Old Testament separation was an ongoing requirement for God’s people. (Ex 23:24; Lev. 20:22-26; Isa 52:11;) They were expected to be holy, different and separated from other peoples in order to belong to God as His very own.
- In the New Testament God commanded separation of the believer (a) from the corrupt world system and from unholy compromise. (b) from those in church who sin and refuse to repent (Mat 7:15; 1Co 5:9-11; 2Th 3:6-15) and from false teachers, churches or cults that teach theological error and deny Biblical truths (Mat 7:15; Rom 16:17)
- Our attitude in separation must be one of (a) hatred toward sin, unrighteousness and the corrupt world system, (b) opposition to false doctrine, © genuine love towards whom we must separate. and (d) fear of God as we perfect holiness.
- The purpose of separation is that we as God’s people might (a) persevere in salvation (1Ti 4:16; Rev 12:14-17), faith (1Ti 1:19; 6:10; 20-21) and holiness (Jo 17:14-21; 2Cor 7:1) (b) live wholly for God as our Lord and Father (Mat 22:37; 2Co 6:16-18) and convince the unbelieving world of the truth and blessings of the gospel (Jn 17:21; Phi. 2:15.)
- If we separate ourselves properly, God Himself rewards us by drawing near with His protection, blessing and Fatherly care. He promises to be everything a good Father should be. He will be our counselor, guide; He will love and cherish us as His own children. (2Cor 6:16-18)
- The refusal of believers to separate themselves from evil will inevitability result in loss of fellowship with God (2 Co 6:16), of acceptance by the Father (6:17) and of our rights as children (6:18cf. Rom 8:15-16).
What are your thoughts about socilization?
VERY well written! Thanks! I LOVE the cartoon!
Amy
AMEN! We have more trouble when we allow Little Critter to play with the neighborhood kids than when he plays with the kids at Temple. He has several friends, both here and at Temple, but only when he plays with the ones at home (that are unchurched)do we have major attitude problems. We now limit severely his playing with them. But he’s also active in Cub Scouts, Karate, Soccer and of course activities at Temple. So it’s not like he’s not getting socialization. Great post. Thanks Robin. Shalom, Spitfire
I loved your comics! I was home schooled from grade 5 and absolutely loved it. A lot of my friends would constantly ask me how I handled not being able to socialize, and I always used to say that between church and sport I got more than enough socialization.
Your words and your life are a beautiful testimony to the grace of God. Love the socialization verses.
Great cartoon. It says it all. I need to print and carry in my purse for homeschool negative folk. FOund your blog on Twitter. Super! Off to browse more.
It’s my opinion (as a homeschooler) that you can never replace or replicate the social skills learned at school. Realize that this is relatively the first generation of homeschool existence. We have yet to hear the independent views of grown-up homeschoolers.
Many times there doesn’t seem to be a social problem because there is no raw peer criticism. This criticism doesn’t stop with grade-school, however, but continues on into the career/dating life. The benefit that conventional students have is they are accustomed to this peer rejection/acceptance and have learned to handle themselves.
What we find with homeschoolers is, yes, their grades are good but they are unable to break the social code of the world. They are behind a wall that everyone else can see but them. Once they understand the existence of this wall they either go into denial or insanity.
Interesting…. Insane homeschool students?! I’ve never heard of such people! The majority of the homeschooled kids I know are VERY social– including my own kids– and moms like me are just as busy keeping up with it all as parents of traditionally schooled kids. Rejection is a part of life and we need to teach our kids how to handle that, no matter how they are educated. It sounds to me as if Phil is not happy about his own education or life preparation. Learning from life’s situations is part of being socialized, but complaining doesn’t go very far.
Phil,
As stated in the post, testing proves homeschool children had significantly lower problem behavior scores than do their conventional school agemates. And the home educated have positive self-concepts.
We teach them how to handle conflicts Biblically see “Handling Conflicts Wisely” Lesson from Wisdom Unit Study http://bit.ly/3S6FAi
RT: @heartofwisdom: Most Frequesntly Asked #Homeschool Question: Aren’t You Worried About Socialization? http://bit.ly/7NHhEk
[...] http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/homeschool-arent-you-worried-about-socialization/ A great blog commenting on socialization, complete with citations of various studies by sociologists and child psychologists. [...]
[...] http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/homeschool-arent-you-worried-about-socialization/ [...]
I would actually disagree with you there – we are in the second generation of homeschoolers. My sister and brother were both homeschooled and it was not that uncommon even then.
I also believe that homeschooled children are actually better prepared to enter the adult world because they have been operating in the adult world. Schools create an artificial environment. As an adult, we are free to choose who we associate with and you don’t put yourself in situations and with people that make you uncomfortable but yet children are forced to be all smushed together in unnatural groups.
When they do end up out there on their own, I feel that they are actually much better prepared to stand on their own two feet because we have given them a strong foundation that wasn’t undermined while it was being built.
whew…. that’s the end of my soapbox
Great post, Robin! Would you believe I just had this question posed to me this week by someone who is considering homeschool for their family. I guess that’s why I had so much to say up there under Phil’s post
New Follower – looking forward to reading many more words of wisdom
Amein Robyn! Seriously so many people are so concerned about ‘socialization’ it gets on my nerves a little and sometimes it makes me doubt myself. Yet there are so few people who actually believe in the bible and treat it more like a philosophy than a way of life I feel so old fashioned sometimes! I like it that way though and love to not be surrounded by those things that make us stumble.
I saw one of the responses discussed having problems when little ones play with the neighbor kids…and it is so true! Those “bad” behaviors really don’t take much time to sink in!
I shared this link with some of my fellow home educators out here in Ireland and they loved it, too!
Thank you yet again, Robyn!
Are we all replying to Phil? First I should say I have three boys. Many of their friends are in public school. But rejection and learning how to handle it as an adult, Phil believes Homeschoolers are less able to handle. My children have seen rejection since they were about 8 yrs old. What has been great about being homeschooled is that the parents are right there and able to direct them in a positive, biblical light. I promise you that our homeschooled kids get denied and rejected just like friends in public school. They just learn how to handle it better : )