Full Quiver Humor: Top 12 Questions Large Families Receive

Full Quiver Humor: Top 12 Questions Large Families Receive

I’ve gathered fun Q&A over the years from several quiver full moms. I’m looking at this list from a different perspective today.

I was pregnant with my youngest son (#9) when I was 46! My husband and I went in to look at the pregnancy test and neither of us could read it. We both said, “You got your glasses?”

So enjoy the questions while you get them I’d rather hear “Are they all yours?” than “Is this your grandson?”

The #1 Question: Are they all yours?

  • (My answer) I think so. Let me count, hmmmm I think there might be one missing.
  • No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets.
  • No, a couple of them started following us a few minutes ago. — This is especially funny when you look at your kids and realize that one of them really ISN’T yours — he had just started following you and you didn’t notice before…
  • No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
  • Gee, I never heard that question before!
  • Yes, they are! And then one of the boys will pipe up and mention the 21 yo and the 18 yo if they are not there and of course the baby on the way!
  • Of course they’re all mine. Do you think I take six (or fill in your number) kids shopping for fun?
  • No……….I have two more at home! (When it fits)
  • Well, no, they are not all “OURS” but in our hearts they are……
  • Yes, and they’re such good kids!! (the kids love that one!)
  • Of course they are..wait..who is that one? Hes not ours…..oh, yeah,#5, I forgot I had him.
  • Yes. But if you have any you don’t want, I’ll gladly take them, too.
  • No. I’ve been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the food court!
  • Most of the time I only have my 7 youngest ones with me, so when someone asks this, I say yes and one of the younger ones will say and there are 4 more. Then we wait to see how long it takes them to add 7+4. Then you should see the looks we get.

2. Did you give birth to all of them?

  • (My answer) I gave birth to nine then God gave me two more. But I love them all and all of their children equally.
  • Yes, I gave birth to them all. Do you really believe the stork dropped them off?
  • Yes, in my heart…… (for adoptive parents)
  • Not all of them. We found Tommy in the cabbage patch and Melissa in the mail box. And Cheryl, where did you come from again?

3. You have your hands full!

  • (My answer) My grandmother always said, “Many hands make light work.”
  • Yes, happily so!
  • Yes, and my heart too.
  • Don’t say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. (This does obviously not work if you are carrying a baby)
  • Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!

4. Are you going to have more?

  • (My answer) When God gives me a blessing I can’t refuse it.
  • Why do you want to know?
  • Well, not today.
  • We are trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for largest family living in one house, etc.
  • OH, YES! I want to have a family bigger then the one in my favorite movie, “Yours, Mine & Ours!” to beat the 19 they had!!
  • Yes, I always want just one more.
  • Well, we do have a twelve-passenger van.
  • Check back in nine months and you’ll see for yourself.

5. Don’t you know what causes that?

  • (My answer) Yes, it’s the super power I asked for. I bear children.
  • No, please tell me!
  • Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm “Yes, and we like it!”
  • Well, we don’t have a TV.
  • Of course, don’t you?
  • Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.
  • Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in separate glasses!
  • Oh yes, I now wash my husband’s underwear separately.
  • Oh yes, having a great sex life!
  • Water or sex, but I don’t want to give up either.
    It’s in the water. Would you like a glass?
  • Yes, and I know WHO causes it! God gave us these children!
  • Yes I do……..cold winter nights………
  • LOVE! An overabundance of love!!
  • Yes, and it is something I am very good at…
  • Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!
  • A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord’s blessing.

6. Are you going to get fixed?

  • (My answer) No, I am not broken!
  • Why do you want to know?
  • Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!
  • We didn’t know anything was broken.
  • Don’t you only fix things that aren’t working properly?
  • Well, as you can see by the size of OUR family everything is in working order.

7. I can’t believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!

  • (My answer) God never gives us more than we can bear.
  • I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.
  • With lots of patience, patience, patience, I go and look at them while they’re sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet children of God they are and keeps me going!
  • Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go to bed when it’s done.
  • Pick your battles carefully. It helps to have selective sight and hearing!
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!

8. Are you planning to have any more?

  • (My answer) We let God make those decisions. I hope so, I love babies.
  • I collect children. I wonder if anyone asks Jay Leno if he’s going to buy more cars?
  • I’ve been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
  • Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn’t know that my husband couldn’t count!
  • We didn’t plan the first six, I don’t think we’ll plan the next six, either.

9. I hope you aren’t planning to have anymore?!?

  • (My answer) God has it all under control.
  • You know, I think you are right – we have too many. In fact maybe I should give a few away, which one do think should go?
  • Well, I kind of like children. Is that OK?
  • You mean, I just figured out what I’m really, really good at, and you’re telling me to stop doing it?
  • Talk to God about it… it’s up to Him.
  • Well, we do have room in our van for 2 more.
  • OK, I won’t plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!
  • Yup, we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.

10. Haven’t you heard of birth control?

  • (My answer) I let God to control my births.
  • Yes, and I thank God it doesn’t always work!
  • Oh yes, it’s for people who don’t want children.

11. Don’t you have a television?

  • (My answer) Yes, but the reception is horrible at night.
  • Yes, but we only get X-rated channels.
  • No, we have much better things to do at night!

12. How can you afford having so many?

  • (My answer) When God supplies the lambs He supplies the pasture.
    (I also like) I have a very wealthy Father (pointing up).
  • Lifestyles are expensive, not kids.
  • I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on more.


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