Full Quiver Blessings and Challenges
Last night, I had dinner with my six youngest children at a restaurant (ages 6 to 22). It had been a long time since we were all at one table. I loved every minute of reminiscing and laughter. Midway though the meal I realized and announced, “If I practiced birth control, I would be the only one at this table right now!” Everyone was quiet for two seconds then they all bust out laughing. What a blessing!
Full quivers are blessings, but they also produce many challenges. Families of all sizes will experience joy as well as heartache. When children are small they step on your toes, as adults they step on your hearts. When you love deeply you can be hurt deeply.
I have experienced the deepest hurt when our adult children have not understand my spiritual beliefs or convictions. I have also experienced a flood of grace, forgiveness, joy, and overwhelming deeper love when misunderstandings are resolved.
Dealing with hurt or difficult family situations can exhaust our strength and understanding. The temptation is to get angry, complain, or put up a giant wall. But the mature and godly answer is to love as God loves us. I’m still working on it. Dying to self is the solution and allowing the Holy Spirit to live through us is the answer (Gal. 2:20, Luke 9:23). When we work for God we are working a spiritual purpose, an eternal purpose, a godly purpose.
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Cor. 15:58).
During family trials our motives and understandings can be transformed into strength:
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. (1 Pet. 5:10).
God comforts us when we’re afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others. I received an encouraging email this morning on this issue:
…A seed appears dead when some of the most vital stages of life force are developing under that dry surface; and some of the most abundant-looking trees have to be pruned or else those same leafy branches will bear no fruit at all next season. Only the Gardener understands this fully. We seem to forget, year after year, as we lament over the dead plants of autumn and the pile of leafy pruned branches on the brush pile! He is at work, and next spring’s growth will be glorious as we allow Him His will in our “garden.” Hallelujah!…
House Hunting News
I’m still in Tennessee. We are in the process of purchasing a lovely farm home in Shelbyville (south of Nashville). My DH will remain in Tennessee working at his new job with the state. I was scheduled to go back to Virginia today but had to put my car in the shop for repairs (again). I hope to be home in a few days to start packing. We hope to move by mid-October.
Thank you for your numerous comments to the classical education post. I enjoyed the feedback and excellent input.
How is your family doing?
Share you family blessings or challenges in the comments below.
Oh Robin…
I spoke with a friend this morning who is in one of those “family” things that will come to pass, she knows that…but your post today spoke the words she needed to read…
I am passing it on…blessing upon blessing..wise words..peace today..
it was a beautiful post!
lori
Robyn,
I so enjoyed this post, as a Mom to 7 children I have also faced the trying times and the wonderful times. I think as our children get older sometimes they appreciate the sacrifices we have made as parents, BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM!!!!
Hi Robin, I follow along on the blogs very slightly as I am a mom to many, eight, with the ninth 2/3 of the way here! I absolutely love this calling on my life and have really come to embrace it with all my heart only recently. Even though I am experiencing great joy our hearts are also breaking as we are going through a huge (at least huge to us) family trial. God, of course is sooooo faithful and we will be fine, but I found your blog today such a blessing. I was telling my husband just recently that all these children are such a blessing and bring such joy and much love, but with the larger capacity to love come the larger capacity to be hurt. Deep love, deep heartache. When I read that in your blog, I smiled, because I knew my Father has compassion on me and loves me and just loves to show me in the neatest littlest ways. So thank you, praying for you and may God bless you and keep you. If you think about it could you just life my dear husband and I up in prayer, to be strengthened with His strength, and feel His love? Thank you!
Your words & life are always such a huge blessing!
My kids are not grown yet, my oldest is only 16. I do wonder at times if my kids will accept our convictions about having a family. Will they follow in out foot steps or be even more bold than we have been in our walk with the Lord. I hope the later is true! I never dreamed that having 10 kids (& not sure if the Lord is done) could be so hard and rewarding all in the same day.
I can’t imagine my life with out 1 of my kids. They each play a special part in God’s purpose for our family. I wish so many times that other parents could realize the huge blessings available to them if they wouldn’t limit their family to just the 1 girl & 1 boy, or whatever their idea of a perfect family size is. We may not get to do all that smaller families do, but for us we don’t need to.
Thanks again for the reminder of just how blessed I am to live in this really full, really loud & amazingly exciting house. I like to tell people that God has a great sense of humor by giving someone like me 10 kids. Proof that he knows me better than I know myself!
Dana – mom of 10
We who have commented are proof that birds of a feather flock together! I have 9 kids, ages 16 down to 8 months. My baby just cut her first tooth! Anyway, I have a praise report. I hope it will encourage someone.
My family went through some devastating experiences 2 years ago, but it was from outside influences. The kids are all young enough that they think our family is the best family that ever lived and that Mommy and Daddy are wonderful. I haven’t experienced the kind of pain that you talked about, Robin, from my own children not understanding our beliefs or lifestyle. I don’t know what the future holds, but right now the Lord is creating such a unity and love among my children that I feel so blessed every day to live life with my children. Of course, it’s not perfect, but as we pray together, and we spend time together in the Word, just like you advocate in the HOW approach, we are getting closer and closer to the goals of family closeness and unity.
I have testified on my blog about my oldest son. He is just so amazing that I can’t even fully describe how much of a blessing he is to everyone in our family. Other people are amazed at his wisdom, his loving attitude, and his kind spirit at 16 years of age. He was already on this path before we started using the HOW approach, because God just took over with him and turned him into a lover of truth and a lover of God, but the things we do in our homeschooling each day just reinforce what God is wanting him to learn, and he tells anyone who asks that our home school is awesome and he loves it. He is as excited about it as I am. We just let the Spirit lead, and God leads us into exciting discoveries in the Word and fascinating studies about countries and cultures and the whole thing is a lot of fun!
I’m really enjoying this season of my life. It’s a lot easier than when all of my kids were 10 and under. Now I have some wonderful helpers. I see God changing each of us as iron sharpens iron even in our own “little” family. We confess our sins to each other and try to keep everything out in the open so that the enemy can’t use anything against us. I encourage my kids to walk in love, walk in truth and walk in the Spirit. We try to deal with problems as they arise, not ignoring them and thinking they’re just childish things that don’t matter. I wasn’t so intentional in the past, but I’m getting better at it as the Spirit helps me know what to do in each situation.
I’m thankful for the trials and the changes they’ve produced in all of us. I’m also thankful for this time of rest and restoration. I know the Lord has great plans for each of my children, and I’m thankful that He has them in His hands, and that I don’t have to know everything. It takes a lot of pressure off of me to do everything just right and not make any mistakes or miss anything important. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll miss something with one of my kids, because of the number of them, but He is always faithful to let me know what is going on so that I can be there for them when they need me.
Thank you, Robin, for your example and your willingness to share with those following behind you. I enjoy reading about your family and the interactions between you and your adult children and your younger children. I have all of that ahead of me, and I like to get a glimpse of what may be in store for me and my family. It’s kind of hard to imagine any of my kids growing up and leaving home. I know it will happen, but I’m not going to dwell on it! Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience with the rest of us.
Love,
Penney
I am commenting again since I reread the post and the comments…cling to each other, RESPECT each other, PRAY for each other…that is what a family does, so that when they leave the nest, and they will, they will go out there and be the kind of people that we raised them to be…the kind of people that the Lord can use in ways unimaginable to us…
your post inspired me twice!!
thanks Robin,
peace in HIM,
lori
LOL, and I guess I’m from the smallest quiver here.. I’m newly expecting my 6th blessing.. Hah, I love that I’m the smallest family here..
We did practice birth control, and put a final stamp on it after 3.. but my heart longed for more, each month was an emotional challenge for me and my husband to whom I complained. Eventually I took my prayers to Our Lord, and God answered my prayers. We had a surgical reversal, and now I have 2 more, there have been 5 other pregnancies, and now this little one on the way. Each one – even the ones with the Lord now – have been a blessing, each teach me daily about walking out my Faith In God.. Each bring me fantastical joy. Mine are almost 15, 13, 11, 3 and 20 months. (oh and 37 days pregnant!)