Talk about timely, I received a link in my email today to an article titled Teaching a Horse to Stop. Where was this email last week when I had a runaway horse? That proverbial barn door is closed.
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone: (n.), The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration: (n.), The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: (adj.),Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: (v.),To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: (adj.),Terminal coolness.
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon: (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor: (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
Dorkestra: A kazoo ensemble.
Certifried:(adj.),guaranteed not to be cooked in trans fat oil.
Flabbergasted: (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Negligent: (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Flatulence: (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
Balderdash: (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Pagerism: (n.), a journalist using someone else’s beeper.
Puntuate: (n)m Flavoring a speech with this low form of humor,…the pun.