Can We Control Spiritual Growth & Emotional Healing?
Darin Hufford, author of The Misunderstood God: The Lies Religion Tells About God,
This topic really made me think and question myself.
Darin explains that spiritual growth and emotional healing are involuntary, like physical growth and physical healing. We don’t control it.
He uses the term involuntary spirituality in comparison to involuntary physical actions like breathing, heart pumping, etc. Just as we don’t try to control such involuntary physical actions, we shouldn’t try to regulate or control involuntary spirituality.
Healing Analogy
Darin gives a cut finger analogy:
When you cut your finger, you wash it out and put a band-aid on it. Once that simple act is completed do you sit around and try to figure out ways to get it to heal? Of course not. Nothing you do beyond those initial first few steps will make any difference in the healing process. You won’t speed it up or slow it down. You can read books on cut-healing and go to cut-healing conferences, but in the end, all that energy is a waste of time because your cut will heal itself with or without your help.
God created this healing capacity within each and every one of us. We don’t do silly things like read books and call experts when we scrape or cut ourselves. We don’t squint our eyes and grit our teeth trying as hard as we can for a healing because we know that healing was created within us and it happens on its own…
The cut/band-aid analogy makes sense. God does the healing.
What About Our Responsibility?
But what about our responsibility to wash and protect the cut? Is asking this question just another example of me reverting to a “fix it” mentality? Do I focus too much on what I need to do instead of waiting on God? I have spent years on the performance treadmill trying to earn God’s love. Am I still in the recovery process of thinking the answer to everything is to “try harder”?
Am I still trying to be in control of my own emotional healing and spiritual growth by insisting we have a part in this process?
Another Healing Analogy
Let’s go beyond a simple cut. For the last four years I have been treated for internal bleeding and heart disease. I have seen medical doctors, and recently a nutritionist.
- The medical doctors treat the symptoms with medications or surgery.
- The nutritionist finds and removes the problem so the body can heal itself.
I had open heart surgery four years ago, followed by several heart medications and less extensive surgeries. I almost died several times from hemorrhaging.
In September, I learned that the twelve blood transfusions and ten hospitalizations I had last year were a direct result of heart medication I had been given (only needed for three months, but doctors kept me on them for two years). In this case the medical solution was the problem, not the answer.
I’m currently working with a nutritionist to remove the problem (wash and bandage the cut). I’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease and need to stop eating foods that contain gluten. With the problem removed (gluten) my body is able to receive the nutrition necessary to heal itself.
God Does the Spiritual Healing
Darin explained that life is set up by God Himself in a way that naturally brings forth things like inner healing, growth and maturity.
I believe I am too quick to try to force the healing myself.
More from Darrin’s blog:
Many Christians feel like they’re waiting in line for an emotional healing that they probably won’t ever find. They become like the chronic overweight person who has tried everything from low-carb diets to overnight miracle pills, and after being let down half a million times, they finally collapse into a world of utter hopelessness. The mere mention of emotional healing catapults them into a world of self-loathing depression.
They forgave every person they could remember being mad at. They’ve visited their inner child more times than they care to remember. They’ve quoted all the formula prayers, stood on all the right scriptures, and even had the in-house deliverance expert walk them towards the light, but come Monday morning they found themselves right back where they started.
…We talk obsessively about growing in the Lord. We ask each other what they’re doing to grow in the Lord. We tell people that if they aren’t growing they need to be doing this and thus. We pride ourselves in saying that spiritual growth is the number one thing our church or ministry cares about..
…Christianity is known for taking the things that happen naturally in the course of life and claiming authority over them. Then, when what would have happened on its own, happens; we claim responsibility and call ourselves powerful.
If we would just learn to keep our noses out of the areas in life where we are not needed, we might find that Christianity is amazingly easy. I have come to believe that 90% of the stress and difficulty in the modern day Christian life, is self induced. We are praying about things that don’t need prayer. We’re claiming authority over things that don’t need our authority and leadership. We spend our time asking God for things that aren’t even on the menu and we spend all our faith on things that happen naturally.
Again, I agree with Darin.
I’d like to add (and I think Darin would agree) we need to find all the potential causative factors to the problem and remove them in order to allow God to repair the spirit, i.e., get rid of sins such as unforgiveness. Unforgiveness causes deep pain and leads to hideous bondage resulting in bitterness, rage, anger, and malice (Ephesians 4:31).
However, even our part—in this example, forgiving—is impossible without God. He is love; He puts the love in us. Only through resting in Him can forgiveness flow through us. We can’t work out our way to get a healing. God does it all.
What Would Jesus Do?
Much of Jesus’ teaching was directed at the religious Pharisees, who were focused on their performance treadmill. Jesus summed up all the commands in two: love God and love others.
If we focus on these two commands—enjoying a relationship with God and others—it will allow growth and healing to happen.
It’s Up to God, Not Us
Darin’s point is, “Growing isn’t up to us; it’s up to God.” We need to stop striving, live life and enjoy a relationship with God. He says,
…Christianity is NOT about changing and getting better. It’s about experiencing life. If you just get on the train of life and enjoy the ride, God will take care of everything else. This literally changes the entire landscape of Christianity as most people know it today.
If you need an inner healing, just know in your heart that it’s happening. You can’t make it happen any faster than you can heal your finger if you cut it. YOU WILL HEAL! Know that and live life. YOU WILL GROW! Nothing you do will make yourself grow any faster. Growing isn’t up to us; it’s up to God.
…As Christians we have a responsibility to LIVE LIFE. Our life is set up by God Himself in a way that naturally brings forth things like inner healing, growth and maturity. These things are the responsibility of God; NOT US. I honestly believe that we’ve driven ourselves crazy because in our own arrogance and unwillingness to enter into life, we’ve hijacked God’s responsibilities and have foolishly depended upon ourselves to carry them through.”
What do you think?
What do you think? Does this rock your beliefs? Is spiritual growth, like physical growth involuntary? Do we have a part? If so what? Jesus said that He came that we might have life, and life to the fullest. Could it be that in the course of enjoying life, and loving one another things like growth and healing happen on their own?
Looking forward to hearing your perspective.
- You can listen to Darin’s podcast here. Scroll down to and click on Involuntary Spirituality.
- Read blog post Involuntary Spirituality here
The title of this blog entry is “Can we CONTROL Spiritual Growth & Emotional Healing” and the answer is No, we can’t CONTROL it. But we do have a part to play. If we avoid doing things that are harmful (to our bodies and our spirits) and do the things that are beneficial (for the body, eat good food, exercise, sleep, breathe fresh air, get out into the sunshine, etc. For the spirit, listen to the Word, exercise our faith, etc.)and God will GROW us and HEAL us. It’s a matter of our LEARNING what our part is and then doing it—and not trying to do God’s part.
Love you!
Hi Robin,
I’m glad to read your health update in your blog. I’ve been hearing a still small voice say, “Love God, love others,” and feeling the beckoning to just engage more in life rather than trying to “work on it.”
I think being a visual learner and not being raised in Godly principles draws me to gather wisdom which can happen to a fault. Even our pastor said last week we have to be careful our good ideas or what we’ve learned really are the voice of God.
I think this message is important. I was reminded of something silly. In the movie, What about Bob, Richard Dreyfuss told Bob to take a vacation from his problems. It was very funny how the supposed “mentally sick” person seemed to be more in touch than they psychiatrist.
Another thing that came to my mind from years ago is a book called, Addicted to Recovery by .
And finally, what else comes to my mind is that the Comforter, Jesus, never minds comforting us throughout the day or responding to our frustrations by being that living water pool where we drink and reflect continually. This, to me, is healthy but often I find myself trying to concoct living water on my own I guess.
Joni
Holy God, take my heart, purge with flame and truth, a humble heart, is all I want, that I may live with You, Misty Edwards
Quite honestly, I have to politely disagree. I lived many years of my Christian walk hoping this was true and it is a lie. Sadly, it is even more empty than the psycho-babble that has infiltrated the church….. To just hope that one day all your pain and hurt will disapear. To have to WAIT for the Lord to take them away and stay in bondage till that time is just not God’s character. It is not God’s choice that we stay in bondage but that we surrender our hurts to Him. To imply that you have no part in the surrender? The article seems to omit the fact that we have a free will in our relationship with the Lord. WE get to chose how much the Lord has control over our lives and can thwart many of His plans for the many blessings he has in store for us. We are faced with choices everyday to follow scripture or be flippant about it with the attitude of “whatever will be will be”. God is a very specific and orderly God but he is also a gentleman. He will not override our free will. He will not force his healing upon you. There has to be a yielding of our will to do this. For many years the Isrealites wandered in the wilderness and the Lord LET them do this. I am certain if they would have come to grips with their sin sooner they would not have wandered so long. Moses, a very faithful man, would have been able to SEE the promise land. Our walks with the Lord are very similar. For many years I had been an Isrealite in my walk with the Lord. Did all the right things, spent time with the Lord daily, homeschooled the kids, was involved in children’s ministry at church……. However, God showed me that I there was something missing in my walk with Him. I knew it had to do with my past and the baggage that I carried into my relationship with God as a way of protecting myself. Not realizing or ‘wanting’ God to protect me because it was unknown. Thought I could do a better job but that was hindering our relationship. In order to be healed of something you must know what you are giving to the Lord to surrender to him. You must re-program your brain with scriptures to replace what was formerly there to combat the old man and guard yourself with spiritual armor. If we just pretend that things will heal on their own it is much like living in ignorance. I did this for many years and thought I was fine/healed, however it was when I asked the Lord to search my heart, HE showed me that I still had not surrendered my hurts to Him. I was going to continue in that pattern of wandering, till I gave it over. I went through a study that revealed with scripture, how I hide my hurts with sins that were coming out in other more ‘acceptable’ ways.
Hebrews 12: 15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Now that I have been shown what was the bitter root, I have asked the Lord to have my “whole heart” and unpack the baggage I carried into our realtionship. It was not fun to ‘unpack’ the bag, but it was necessary for ME to acknowlege what I was surrenduring and willingly not hide anything from the Lord. While nothing is truely hidden from God He will not over-ride our ability to keep what we have. I no longer need to unpack anything from the Lord and have experienced freedom from my hurts for a couple years now. It is not something I dwell on or are adicted to remembering. It is gone! However, seeing others in the same bondage and being told that it will just ‘go away’ is a hopeless solution and a continuation of what the Isrealites did in the WIlderness. TO stay in the wilderness when God has the promise land in store is a sad existence and a fruitless walk with the Lord. Although he gave some great analogies and visuals, none of them deal with application to scripture. So much of the church is absolutely dead and stagnant. There is no desire to yield grow or submit to scripture. His line of thinking seems to encourage stagnancy rather than running the race with endurance and Christ’s strength. God calls us to continually ask Psalm 139: 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
If we do this He will draw/lead us closer to Him and away from our flesh.
Thank you for letting me share my thoughts.
Theresa
I’m with Theresa on this. I have received inner healing prayer many times and am blessed to participate with God to pray for others as well. God wants us to call on His love, His power, His mercy and His grace to deliver, heal and free us from a lifetime of wounds and places of bondage. Isaiah 61 speaks of God’s promise to heal the brokenhearted and set captives free and it is a matter of choice. He will trade us beauty for ashes. Sadly, some people choose to hold on to the ashes and are unwillingly to receive the beauty and peace that can only come their Heavenly Father. I have witnessed many who want an instant fix and yet are unwilling to let go of their bitterness, unforgiveness or hard hearts. Sadly, they leave prayer with unchanged hearts and probably are still reliving the same patterns in their life they always have. I had been on antidepressants and my health continued to fail for 18 years. I am now free of depression and medication because I was willing to allow God to come into my heart and forgive me for holding on to anger, rejections, judgment and despair. God is a gentleman, He allows us to say yes or no to the question; “do you want to be well?”
peace
DEE
Things to think about. I think that the only part we have to play is obedience, not keeping the law type obedience, but walking in the Spirit, moment by moment, being sensitive to what God is asking of us. If we had so much control, we wouldn’t learn things like patience through our trials and build character and faith and hope (Rom. 5:3-4).
I think I disagree with his premise more than I agree with it. Deliverance has done amazing things in our lives. We have been set free from bondages that we didn’t even know we were under thanks to many experiences of deliverance. God doesn’t sovereignly deliver us of things without our even knowing it, not always. Many times He leads us to a person or to the avenue of deliverance, but we have to follow Him and then we have to do what He tells us to do to attain that deliverance and growth. He leads us by His Spirit into what we need to do to grow more.
We don’t have to strive. I do agree with that. We just need to be open to hear what He’s saying and then obedient to what He tells us to do.
I totally agree with Darin. I think he’s brilliant, and he’s extremely good looking. If Theresa and Penney could only see a picture of Darin, they would surely change their opinions and agree with everything he says:-)
I don’t believe for a nanosecond that Darin Hufford made that last post. Shame on whoever did that!
Hi Robin, your question ‘Can We Control Spiritual Growth and Emotional Healing?’, makes an interesting read. And I wonder if I can comment.
I do believe we can certainly control spiritual growth and emotional healing if we work on, or have access to, the right psychologist. There are different routes to spiritual growth and if we can identify the paths, we certainly can control it. Spiritual experiences are often caused by physical factors, which is why I have since concluded that, contrary to popular belief, the physical actually controls the physical. And that for this reason also, spiritualists should and must be regulated to stop them from becoming ‘spiritual terrorists’.
BA
Spiritual growth is not involuntary. We have to do a lot of the work by ourselves for example creating time to read the Bible and pray as well as choosing not to sin and to obey God when temptation talks.
Miriam @ Christian Stress Management recently posted..How to Fight for your Job with Bible Verses
Wow, this is my first time ever reading one of your posts and I must say I was very moved by all the spirituality … I have to admit I’m not much of a religion man. I’m more about GOD. I believe those of which led a good life helping others and showing nothing but love to those around him/her shall be chosen to live in paradise. Maybe I’m wrong to judge a religion by the actions the members take… I’d love to discuss the matter with someone. But for now… I must thank you all for everything I read makes me feel like the world still has many good hearts.
Sergio Hurtado
God Bless you all
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