When the angel appeared to Manoah’s wife (Samson’s
mother) he gave her instructions on how she was to live and how Samson
was to be set apart as a Nazirite. (A Nazirite was someone who had such
a great love for the Lord that he/she wanted to show their devotion to
God in a special way.) Then when the father was told about the angel’s
message, Manoah prayed and asked God to send the angel back and "teach
us how to bring up the boy who is to be born (Judges 13:8)."
In verse 9, we read that God hears Manoah’s prayer
and sends the angel back. When Manoah speaks to the angel in verse 12,
he asks, "what is to be the rule for the boy’s life and work?" What will be his vocation and what training
should he receive? Good question, but the angel totally ignores it.
Amazing! God sends the angel back as a result of Manoah’s prayer, and
then the angel doesn’t answer his prayer. Or does he?
What a disappointment; here he wants to know about
the boy, and God (via the angel) is telling Manoah about his and his
wife’s responsibility. We have an example of that in the third chapter
of John when Nicodemus makes an opening comment to Jesus: Jesus totally
ignores the comments and speaks to him about what He wanted Nicodemus
to hear.
The angel begins and ends by saying Manoah’s wife
must do everything that she has been instructed to do. The overwhelming
emphasis of the angel’s message to the parents is obedience. Note, not
the child’s obedience, but the parents' obedience. Manoah was to see that his wife obeyed the word from God.
As fathers, just what is our highest priority? Our
children’s education, socialization, future vocation are our
responsibilities. I believe God’s Word teaches that a father’s primary responsibility is to love the Lord more than anything or anyone else. "Love
the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with
all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment" (Matthew 22:37–38).
That means we are to be sure that we are in
fellowship with Him and living for Him. Our example of being sold out
to Christ is far more important than our giving our children hours of
instruction on how to live the Christian life. Loving our Lord and
walking in obedience to His word is our primary responsibility. I
believe that is why the Lord instructed Manoah to be sure his wife did
what the angel had told her to. Manoah was to be the leader of the home.
So why did Samson fail in achieving God’s best for
his life? Certainly, Samson’s choices had a lot to do with it, but I
wonder if it could have been avoided. There are even hints in Scripture
that the parents might have had outward conformity, but I wonder about
their relationship with the Lord and Samson. Why do I say that?
In chapter fourteen Samson was interested in a
Philistine woman as his wife and he told his parents to get her for his
wife. His father protested, but then proceeded to do what Samson wanted
even though Moses had told them not to intermarry. Do
not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or
take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your sons away
from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord's anger will burn
against you and will quickly destroy you (Deuteronomy 7:3-4).
Here the father was more concerned about the son not being angry with
him than he was concerned about whether the Lord would be angry. He
should have said, "Son, I will die before I willingly do what is wrong."
Don’t be distracted by verse 14:4 where it says the
Lord was using this as an occasion to confront the Philistines. God
will even use our sin for His purposes. He chose to use Samson’s
problem with lust and lack of obedience to his parents to fulfill his
plan. That does not mean that there wasn’t a better way if Samson had
not had these problems.
Look at Samson’s response to his father. But Samson said to his father, "Get her for me. She's the right one for me."
We see that Samson did not love and respect his parents or he would
have said, "Dad, you are right, God would not be pleased if I was to
marry her."
Dads, we need to be first of all concerned about our
relationship with the Lord and pleasing Him. That begins in our heart
and is visible to those around us. Not mere outward conformity, but a
walk that comes from a deep love of our Lord and not wanting to
displease Him. When our relationship is right with Him, we will be able
to win and retain the hearts of our children. If we have our children’s
hearts, then they will receive the concerns we share, and they will be
grieved when their path is straying from our example. In verses 14:6
and 9 we are told Samson did something he shouldn’t have as a Nazirite,
and chose not to tell his parents about it. Our children must feel the
freedom AND need to share with us their failures and wrong desires. How
else can we be used by God in their lives? Samson’s father neglected
the most important thing and lost his son. Dads, may we not fail in a
similar way.
Homeschooling since 1985, Steve Maxwell is the father of eight
children, from age seven to twenty-seven. In 1997, the Lord brought
Steve home to run his own business, and he now enjoys the privilege of
working with his two adult sons and one adult daughter. Steve has been
writing monthly articles of encouragement for homeschooling dads since
1990.
Have you ever wondered how Samson could turn out so poorly when he had
such seemingly great parents? How could this be? We see a father who
desires to raise a child who is pleasing to God and yet something goes
wrong. When grown, this child will be a slave to immorality which will
lead to his being a slave, grinding grain for the Philistines. Maybe
there are a few morsels of wisdom we fathers can glean from this
section of Scripture?
